No More Pain
by Granger21
Summary: Warning:Very Angst-y. Character Death. Suicide. What happened when HE gave up.


A/N: Alright, this turned out to be quite the little dark fic. I guess I was just in the mood to write something depressing. So please tell me what you think!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.

**No More Pain **

'This has to be done,' he thought to himself, placing the needle into the crevice of his arm. The drugs burned as they went in. He knew he had twice the lethal amount. He had enough trips to Muggle hospitals to know that.

'I'm done. They don't need me. I don't deserve anything more than death,' he sighed internally. He felt that he had left no regrets, after all he was done, his purpose was served, now it was time he rested. He deserved a little peace, he thought, but not a lot; he also deserved punishment. He had killed, and people had died because of him. All of this had led him to this rubbish heap of a house. His old house. The occupants had long since gone, and he was the only one left to stake claim in it. He felt it fitting that as his life was trash, he should die with the trash.

It was raining, he realized as he felt the drops hit his forehead and slide off, replicating the look that he was crying. But no, he would not cry; to cry one needed to feel. He couldn't feel anymore, perhaps it was the drugs or maybe it was the fact that he was numb, he didn't know. What he did know was that he was fading fast, and he was thankful for it.

The world seemed darker, the edges of his visions started to become fuzzy. No longer could objects hold a definite shape, they were more rounded, less harsh. Sounds had dulled. What should have been a sharp crack of the door being slammed open resembled a dull thud coming from far away.

"No!" came the gasp from an unfocused blob. "We can't be too late! Oh, Merlin, how much did he take?"

"Too much, this time," Came another hollow voice. He knew these voices, but couldn't find the energy to place them with faces. Both sounded devoid of emotion to his drugged mind. He paid them no heed as he slipped further into the darkness that he craved. His soul would soon be judged, and he knew that it would burn. He caused too much pain for it not to burn.

"No!" came the anguished scream. "No, Severus, no!"

"Harry, there is nothing you can do. Even as a wizard, there is nothing you can do, but let go," Remus murmured quietly, trying to comfort the young man of twenty-two. Yet, how does one comfort someone who is clutching their one hope of love, who is dying in their arms? How can one ever recover from the darkness? He only hoped that Harry would not follow Severus.

"Severus, why? Severus…please…please…" Harry pleaded with the last light that Severus had. Severus' body was limp, his heart was on its final beat, his lungs expelling the last signs of life, and with one last burst of living energy, he looked directly at Harry and smiled. Not a happy smile, but one that was free of burden. One that had finally found some semblance of peace, and with that, he was gone.

"Severus!" Harry cried, his voice breaking and tears were flowing freely down his cheeks as he desperately tried to hold onto Severus' life force. But Severus left. He left him alone in this great big world.

"How can you leave me? Severus? I thought you were okay now? I told you to come to me! You should have come to me; we could have made it through this together! You said you loved me, and yet you leave me alone. How could you?" he sobbed as he clutched Severus' body tighter towards his chest. Wishing for the body to suddenly awaken, but he was only disappointed.

***

After fifteen minutes of Harry crying with such agony into the lifeless shoulder, Remus could take no more. He pried Harry off Severus' body, and transfigured and charmed linen to wrap around his body, and portkeyed it to the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts.

He looked down at Harry, the tears had finally stopped, for the most part, but the once sparkling green eyes, were as dead as his partner's.

"Harry?" Remus called, but received no reply or acknowledgment.

"Harry?" he tried again, but it seemed that the young man had completely closed off. Remus sighed at looked to the heavens silently asking whatever being that was up there, to let Harry be okay. He turned back to the stoic man, and proceeded to pick him up and apparate to Hogwarts. There was nothing else he could do at the moment.

***

After setting Harry back in his apartments, the ones he shared with Severus, he went to see Headmistress McGonagall.

"Minerva, he….he is gone," Remus started. She knew to whom he referred. This had not been the first time Severus had tried suicide as a way out. This time had actually come as a surprise, after Harry and Severus had gotten together; Severus' suicide attempts had stopped, almost completely. It had been four years since he and Harry had gotten together, and two since he had tried suicide. It was actually an improvement from attempting suicide at least three or four times a year.

They had all thought that Severus had dealt with the issues and that he had finally come to terms with what had haunted him and found a reason to live. Yet, love didn't seem to be strong enough to conquer Severus' own hidden demons.

"And Harry?" Minerva inquired, her eyes worried and tired.

"He has cut himself off. Completely. He is in his and Severus' apartments now."

"And you think this wise? To be surrounded by reminders of Severus so soon?" She searched Remus' eyes, hoping that he had more sense than that.

"Oh, shit! I didn't even think…" he trailed off just thinking of what his foolish actions may have caused and was off running for the dungeons, Minerva hot on his heels.

He was relieved to find Harry sitting in the same chair that he had left him in. He walked in, motioning for Minerva to follow.

"Oh!" Minerva gasped, as she saw the state that Harry was in. His eyes were dead, and his arms were soaked red with blood, his wand had been transfigured into a knife.

"Quick, Remus, the Floo!" She found the Floo Powder and shouted for the Hospital Wing and seconds later Remus was off carrying Harry and Minerva followed right behind.

"Poppy!" Remus roared, as he exited the fireplace, running to the nearest bed to deposit his precious load. Poppy came running, and made no comment when she saw the state of her most frequent visitor. With his lover under a preservation charm in her hospital wing, she was not surprised in the least. Harry was very passionate, never doing or feeling things half way.

"Please, save him," Remus pleaded, while Minerva put a hand on his shoulder. They were both asked to take a seat, as they could do nothing now, but watch helplessly as Poppy performed her healing magic in a race against time.

***

"He lost a lot of blood," Poppy broke the silence nearly an hour and a half later. "But he should be fine. Physically he only needs to stay overnight," she continued as she started spelling restrains onto her patient, "but mentally, who knows. We need to keep a constant watch over him. The next 24 hours are critical."

Remus could only nod as he clutched Harry's hand. It felt cold, but he was reassured by watching his lungs move up and down. He couldn't believe he left Harry like that; he should have never done that. Ever.

***

Remus woke the next day from Harry's arms stirring. He blearily opened his eyes only a few moments before Harry did.

"Harry?" Remus asked hopeful of a response.

"Why?" Harry's harsh and ragged voice asked. His eyes still dead.

"Why, what?" Remus asked. He knew it could only be one of two things, either why Severus left him, or why he was still alive.

"Why am I still here?" Harry asked without any emotion, his voice as dead as his eyes.

"We need you, cub." A tear ran down Remus' face. Harry simply nodded his head and stared at the ceiling.

"Harry?" Remus tried again, but Harry didn't respond, he didn't even blink, his eyes still staring up at the white ceiling.

***

"We are gathered here today, to mourn a great professor of this school," Minerva started. Even she had a tear running down her cheek; there had just been to many emotions these past two weeks to keep all of it in.

"Harry Potter was a great man, a strong man, yet a man who was deeply in love. It was unfortunate, but it was this love that caused him to leave us. He was a great Defense teacher, but we can now see that there are no defenses around the heart, and some cannot bear to have those hurt in such a way as Harry did. It was true that he, and Professor Severus Snape, were soul mates, they literally could not live without the other. And although, Professor Potter tried to take his life by his own hand, his broken heart and torn soul was what took his life in the end.

"I am very saddened to have to speak yet again, just one week after Severus was laid to rest, but at least they will have found peace in finally being together, eternally in death. "

There was not a dry face in the cemetery. Harry was laid to rest with his father and mother on his left, and his lover, Severus, on his right. His best friend Ron, and his brother Fred, lay above his head, his godfather Sirius was on the other side of his parents.

'Finally,' Minerva thought, 'he is free.'

***

It was not six months later that Remus had died. He still held guilt for Harry's untimely death. The weight of that guilt as well as the weight of his monthly transformations had caused his heart to give out, just after a transformation. It was actually surprising for a werewolf to have lived as long as he did; yet he didn't lead a very happy life. He was lonely, and he was tired.

As he felt his soul being released from his mortal body, he felt a freedom he had never experienced. No longer did his joints ache, no longer were his muscles sore, and no longer did his heart feel torn and broken. He looked around and saw the smiling faces of all those that he called his family. James and Sirius welcomed him home with his marauder nickname "Moony", while Lily hugged and thanked him for taking care of Harry. Severus went forward and shook his hand, telling him that he was sorry that he wasn't a stronger man as well as thanking him, like Lily, for taking the best care of Harry. Finally, Remus turned to Harry, who embraced him tightly.

"It wasn't your fault Remus, I had to go. Nothing could stop me, and I am sorry you felt it was your fault. You never should have had the need to feel such guilt; it was the natural order of things. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Harry," Remus replied feeling freer than he had ever felt before. Harry looked up; his arms still encircled around Remus' torso and grinned.

"Welcome home, Remus. Here, you shall have no more pain."


End file.
